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15 Things That It Took Me Over 50 Years To Learn

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15 THINGS THAT IT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night

2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

5. You should not confuse your career with your life.

6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

7. Never lick a steak knife.

8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

13. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)

14. Your friends love you anyway.

15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

 
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Thanks for posting this Tony. Everything's so funny & true, especially this one:

Originally Posted by Tony(admin) 13. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.) OMG, this is SOOOOOO true. Having worked in the restaurant business in my 20s, I saw it all the time. To this day, if I see/meet a person who's rude to the waitstaff, I can't & won't give them the time of day. Total turnoff.

 
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LOL Reminds me of that movie....The Cable Guy





Originally Posted by keaLoha

Thanks for posting this Tony. Everything's so funny & true, especially this one:
OMG, this is SOOOOOO true. Having worked in the restaurant business in my 20s, I saw it all the time. To this day, if I see/meet a person who's rude to the waitstaff, I can't & won't give them the time of day. Total turnoff.






 
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I like that, Tony! That's all true and hilarious! You should have mentioned #7 to me a few days ago. (just kidding) But seriously, #15 was best of all in my book!

 
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Originally Posted by Tony(admin) 12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.


But I'm an AWESOME driver, I REALLY am! My bf stinks though...




 
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Originally Posted by Tony(admin) 13. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.) very true. i'm a waitress and when i go out to eat with my family and when one of them doesn't even say "thank you", i get SO mad.
that was a good list!

 
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Originally Posted by Tony(admin) 7. Never lick a steak knife. EEK
 
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Originally Posted by Tony(admin)

8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.



I totally agree with this one! All are really true though. Great list!

 

Liz

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Originally Posted by Tony(admin) 15 THINGS THAT IT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN 

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night

 



hahahahaha!!!!
 

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