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I have a problem with my ex, any advice please ?

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My ex husband was a control freak and abusive. I threw him out last year and he is in regular daily contact with our daughter. My mom , myself and daughter were meant to be going on a holiday today for a week and ex was taking us in his car as i dont have one. It was too short notice to get a train so we were relying on him to take us. I got a very nasty letter yesterday from his solicitor, first one i have had so far, siteing me in divorce proceedings . He has lied about his income and has turned it around and is saying he wants to divorce me on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour ! He was the abusive party and it took me years to pluck up the courage to get rid of him. Anyway, we didnt want to go away with him so we cancelled the break. My daughter is fine about it and so is my mom as neither wanted to go on a 4 hour car journey with this hanging in the air and we are going to Greece soon anyway. The point is, my ex is trying to say that its my fault and i have let our daughter down for not taking her and that i should have swallowed my pride and put up with it. What do you think ?

 
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Aw I'm sorry you're going through this. Divorce proceedings favor the woman 99.9% of the time no matter what the man says, so hopefully this won't be a problem. I wish I had some advice or something better to say but I don't. I wish you the best of luck and I have to say that I am proud of you for finding the courage to throw this man out after the way he treated you. No one should have to deal with that. I hope everything works out for you!

 
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Originally Posted by donnamaryuk My ex husband was a control freak and abusive. I threw him out last year and he is in regular daily contact with our daughter. My mom , myself and daughter were meant to be going on a holiday today for a week and ex was taking us in his car as i dont have one. It was too short notice to get a train so we were relying on him to take us. I got a very nasty letter yesterday from his solicitor, first one i have had so far, siteing me in divorce proceedings . He has lied about his income and has turned it around and is saying he wants to divorce me on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour !He was the abusive party and it took me years to pluck up the courage to get rid of him.

Anyway, we didnt want to go away with him so we cancelled the break. My daughter is fine about it and so is my mom as neither wanted to go on a 4 hour car journey with this hanging in the air and we are going to Greece soon anyway.

The point is, my ex is trying to say that its my fault and i have let our daughter down for not taking her and that i should have swallowed my pride and put up with it.

What do you think ?

First off,Congratualtions for finally getting rid of him,you should be proud of yourself..2ndly..This is typical behavior for abusive,controlling people..If your daughter is fine with the decision,don't let him try to make you feel bad..I would have made the same choice if in your shoes
 
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Thank you so much. Its very difficult at times and i wouldnt have asked but i feel a little down about it. Thank you.

 
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Originally Posted by donnamaryuk Thank you so much. Its very difficult at times and i wouldnt have asked but i feel a little down about it.Thank you.

Don't let him make you feel this way..He's still trying his best to keep his reign over you..Let him know who's boss now
Keep your chin up..I know it can be rough
 
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Hi Donna, I'm sorry you are going through this. I must tell you that I went through a divorce and its is one of the hardest things in the world. If you can survive a divorce you can surely survive almost anything. Not sure if you are religious/spiritual but it does help. I'm not one to go to church every Sunday but during my lowest points I kept my faith. I think you made the right choice by not going. I think when some marriages part they need some distance and going on trips together does not work. My divorce was very difficult for my daughter as well but I never forgot to remind her how much I loved her! I also reminded her that the situation had nothing to do with her. Seven years later my ex has moved on and he has a somewhat normal relationship with his daughter (which I am grateful for). All I can tell you is that there is light at the end of the tunnel. If you ever need to talk I'm here!

Originally Posted by donnamaryuk My ex husband was a control freak and abusive. I threw him out last year and he is in regular daily contact with our daughter. My mom , myself and daughter were meant to be going on a holiday today for a week and ex was taking us in his car as i dont have one. It was too short notice to get a train so we were relying on him to take us. I got a very nasty letter yesterday from his solicitor, first one i have had so far, siteing me in divorce proceedings . He has lied about his income and has turned it around and is saying he wants to divorce me on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour ! He was the abusive party and it took me years to pluck up the courage to get rid of him. Anyway, we didnt want to go away with him so we cancelled the break. My daughter is fine about it and so is my mom as neither wanted to go on a 4 hour car journey with this hanging in the air and we are going to Greece soon anyway. The point is, my ex is trying to say that its my fault and i have let our daughter down for not taking her and that i should have swallowed my pride and put up with it. What do you think ?
 
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I agree and thank you so much Shoediva . What a lovely kind person you are and it gives me great comfort. I am quite a spiritual person and allthough im not a church attender myself, as i was not brought up to be, i have faith and i do pray. I am so comforted by the messages here and you are all strangers to me. Thanks so much.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 
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Thanks Kristina, life has taught me some hard and valuable lessons but it has also made me a better person. Hugzzzz

 
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Hi Donna, no thank you for sharing that with me, and please consider me more than a stranger but someone who has been where you are now and someone who you can talk to anytime.

Remember we are never given more than we can handle.

Lots of hugzzz

Merianne

Originally Posted by donnamaryuk I agree and thank you so much Shoediva . What a lovely kind person you are and it gives me great comfort. I am quite a spiritual person and allthough im not a church attender myself, as i was not brought up to be, i have faith and i do pray.I am so comforted by the messages here and you are all strangers to me.

Thanks so much.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 
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Hi Donnamaryuk, It sounds to me that you have become a strong and confident woman who has taken control of a bad situation regarding your ex. Not only have you been strong enough to get rid of him, but you have made plans to go on a short break with your Daughter and Mother. Good on you!! It seems like your ex is just jealous and is trying to find a way to put you down and make you feel bad, but it obviously isn't working because you can see he is just trying to manipulate you by pulling on your heart strings.The good thing is, your Daughter and Mother as well as yourself can see him for the weak manipulator that he is. More power to you!! At least you now know you can't rely on him for anything, and this will make you even more independant and strong. He better watch you dont walk all over him and squash him to a pulp! Go Girl!!!

 

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