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i feel bad bringing this here, but i figure you guys can empathize in one way or another! the atmosphere on MUA makes me really sad. its constant fights and drama over the silliest stuff.

im upset right now because someone posted links to 2 peoples profile pics, calling one "silence of the lambs-ish" because hes a guy in makeup and a wig, and the other generally unattractive because she has green hair and a mohawk.

her point is that those people post pics for attention, so she shouldnt feel bad giving it to them in the form of publicly announcing that they are unattractive. my point is that those comments dont need to be said on a public board, because theyre hurtful. she can find them unattractive and thats her opinion, but it just doesnt need to be said where they could read it.

it makes me so sad that a person could be so mean spirited and totally refuse to see that her comments are hurtful.

im so glad that people here are nice. i pretty much want to leave mua after 2 + years because of trolls and just plain nasty people. i get a really good vibe from you guys, and i love being here.


 
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Originally Posted by haloinrverse i feel bad bringing this here, but i figure you guys can empathize in one way or another! the atmosphere on MUA makes me really sad. its constant fights and drama over the silliest stuff.
im upset right now because someone posted links to 2 peoples profile pics, calling one "silence of the lambs-ish" because hes a guy in makeup and a wig, and the other generally unattractive because she has green hair and a mohawk.

her point is that those people post pics for attention, so she shouldnt feel bad giving it to them in the form of publicly announcing that they are unattractive. my point is that those comments dont need to be said on a public board, because theyre hurtful. she can find them unattractive and thats her opinion, but it just doesnt need to be said where they could read it.

it makes me so sad that a person could be so mean spirited and totally refuse to see that her comments are hurtful.

im so glad that people here are nice. i pretty much want to leave mua after 2 + years because of trolls and just plain nasty people. i get a really good vibe from you guys, and i love being here.


I agree. That is very mean. I never go out of my way to make someone feel bad. I may joke about something, but if I hurt someone, I feel VERY badly.
I feel the same way about people making derogatory comments about fat people. Luckily I am not fat myself, but I have well-loved relatives who are and the CRAP that they put up with amazes me. It's so much easier and better to pick someone up then to tear them down. There's a time and a place to critique. I am constantly reminded that I need to tone down my comments so as not to unnecessarily hurt someone.

Just this weekend my mom did a SUPREMELY good deed for a man whose wife had died. Later on, all the feedback that she received was about how fat she is. She gulped and looked so hurt. She was so sad that she said it was going to be hard to do nice things again because she did not want to be hurt. Our words are like rippling waves!

I will make an effort to be more sensitive. (I LOVE to joke and refuse to quit being myself, but I will try to be more aware!) Oftentimes my sense of humor is very sarcastic!

Thanks for pointing your experience out. That cruel behavior is not right. It pisses me off too.



 
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Originally Posted by haloinrverse i feel bad bringing this here, but i figure you guys can empathize in one way or another! the atmosphere on MUA makes me really sad. its constant fights and drama over the silliest stuff.
im upset right now because someone posted links to 2 peoples profile pics, calling one "silence of the lambs-ish" because hes a guy in makeup and a wig, and the other generally unattractive because she has green hair and a mohawk.

her point is that those people post pics for attention, so she shouldnt feel bad giving it to them in the form of publicly announcing that they are unattractive. my point is that those comments dont need to be said on a public board, because theyre hurtful. she can find them unattractive and thats her opinion, but it just doesnt need to be said where they could read it.

it makes me so sad that a person could be so mean spirited and totally refuse to see that her comments are hurtful.

im so glad that people here are nice. i pretty much want to leave mua after 2 + years because of trolls and just plain nasty people. i get a really good vibe from you guys, and i love being here.


I used to sort of hang out an MUA's forums ... I didn't post much...read a lot though... and I found a lot of petty people over there. People were nasty for no reason. I never swapped because I saw so many hateful emails regarding swappers... I just didn't want that for myself.. it's too bad.. there are some good people there... just not enough to offset the bad for me. (I also thing the nasty people are just a few people with lots of user IDs)
 

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I agree. Nobody should say those kind of things on a public board. That's really sad that someone has to post that kind of stuff to feel good about themselves.

 
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Whoa! Amazing. I wonder why MuA is the "DRAMA" board?(not sarcastic) This is the MAIN reason why we have brought so many moderators to MakeupTalk...to keep the drama to a minimum(and we'll usually back what decisions you make as moderators). I think we have a good crew at MuT and really can appreciate them after hearing stuff like this. Why do you think there is no moderation there? One thing that I can think of is MuA's board is a custom programmed board with no programming in place to deal with such things other than "flagging messages" and the "deleting the user". Here at Makeuptalk, our software for the board BLOWS MuA's board away, I can assure you this and the admins/moderators have many powers of "banning" users by username, by IP address and more...The beauty industry is not used to vBulletin as the main board software.

Hopefully actions like this can ensure that we can get users to stay at MuT even tho our process of posting etc is different than MuA.

Bottom line? We(speaking for all of us) love our users and want to make MakeupTalk stand out as a FUN and informative board, not a DRAMA board

Take care!







Originally Posted by haloinrverse

i feel bad bringing this here, but i figure you guys can empathize in one way or another! the atmosphere on MUA makes me really sad. its constant fights and drama over the silliest stuff.
im upset right now because someone posted links to 2 peoples profile pics, calling one "silence of the lambs-ish" because hes a guy in makeup and a wig, and the other generally unattractive because she has green hair and a mohawk.

her point is that those people post pics for attention, so she shouldnt feel bad giving it to them in the form of publicly announcing that they are unattractive. my point is that those comments dont need to be said on a public board, because theyre hurtful. she can find them unattractive and thats her opinion, but it just doesnt need to be said where they could read it.

it makes me so sad that a person could be so mean spirited and totally refuse to see that her comments are hurtful.

im so glad that people here are nice. i pretty much want to leave mua after 2 + years because of trolls and just plain nasty people. i get a really good vibe from you guys, and i love being here.






 
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Californian, pleae don't tone down your comments! I have never seen a post from you that was rude or mean. You have a gifted sense of humor that makes heavy topics enjoyable. (All puns intended.) You should never be stifled for fear that a self-important, humorless fool will twist your harmless intent into a weapon to be thrown back at you. Do you know why this happens? Because any person that desires hatred needs tools to fuel and defend their anger. If you make a comment to diffuse the power of their tool, that person will feel their power is threatened and will come charging back at you with accusations such as "How DARE you make fun of **such and such**!" and "You have no RIGHT to comment about *such and such**!!"

Hmmm, my period started today. Maybe I need to go lay down... LOL!!

Originally Posted by Californian I agree. That is very mean. I never go out of my way to make someone feel bad. I may joke about something, but if I hurt someone, I feel VERY badly.

I feel the same way about people making derogatory comments about fat people. Luckily I am not fat myself, but I have well-loved relatives who are and the CRAP that they put up with amazes me. It's so much easier and better to pick someone up then to tear them down. There's a time and a place to critique. I am constantly reminded that I need to tone down my comments so as not to unnecessarily hurt someone.

Just this weekend my mom did a SUPREMELY good deed for a man whose wife had died. Later on, all the feedback that she received was about how fat she is. She gulped and looked so hurt. She was so sad that she said it was going to be hard to do nice things again because she did not want to be hurt. Our words are like rippling waves!

I will make an effort to be more sensitive. (I LOVE to joke and refuse to quit being myself, but I will try to be more aware!) Oftentimes my sense of humor is very sarcastic!

Thanks for pointing your experience out. That cruel behavior is not right. It pisses me off too.



 
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Originally Posted by haloinrverse i feel bad bringing this here, but i figure you guys can empathize in one way or another! the atmosphere on MUA makes me really sad. its constant fights and drama over the silliest stuff.
im upset right now because someone posted links to 2 peoples profile pics, calling one "silence of the lambs-ish" because hes a guy in makeup and a wig, and the other generally unattractive because she has green hair and a mohawk.

her point is that those people post pics for attention, so she shouldnt feel bad giving it to them in the form of publicly announcing that they are unattractive. my point is that those comments dont need to be said on a public board, because theyre hurtful. she can find them unattractive and thats her opinion, but it just doesnt need to be said where they could read it.

it makes me so sad that a person could be so mean spirited and totally refuse to see that her comments are hurtful.

im so glad that people here are nice. i pretty much want to leave mua after 2 + years because of trolls and just plain nasty people. i get a really good vibe from you guys, and i love being here.


Halo..I'm with you girl..I've been a member of MUA for 4yrs now and found that's it's really gone down hill in the past 2yrs.The problem specifically is it's moderators have better things to do then be involved.there are a lot of mean unfullfilled housewives(and some foul mouthed teens) who have nothing better to do then to tear others down to make themselves feel better..I pop in every once and a while as I've made some good friends there but I'm so threw with all the constant drama and cattiness..MuT is my home now..We've got some awesome people here..I thought when I first joined it was too good to be true..A board with great people and NO drama..It is Nirvana..LOL..MuT continues to surprise..I'm so glad I found it
 
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californian- im sarcastic too, but i know when its appropriate, and i never take it to a mean place. im sure you dont either! its possible to be sarcastic yet still really aware of peoples feelings, and it sounds like you are. tony- i dont know why mua doesnt have any mods. i think the webmaster is either so overwhelmed by the drama that he wont touch it, or he just thinks we should be able to take care of ourselves. maybe the size of the community just leads to there being so many types of people that theyre bound not to get along. its just out of control. allisong- ok, you know what im talking about first hand! i do have some good mua buddies, and thats all thats keeping me there. i noticed that it really went downhill after my first year of membership. in the past year +, the trolls are out of control. now we have a new breed of troll who whines about "board police," but is in effect board policing when they say they just want mua to be what it was, and that regular members are the problem. i dont know whats going on there, and i cant figure out who those trolls are, but im sure thats for the best. i pop on every now and then, and it makes me want to tear my hair out. i just cant take the drama! there are only a handful of long time members who post regularly. i havent been around as long as they have, but now i understand why!

 
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After my hair disaster last May I did quite a bit of looking around for others who may have gone through the mess I went through, I found MUA and this site, after doing quite a bit of looking around on both I decided that Makeuptalk was the place for me, to me ya'll just offer a warmer, friendlier atmosphere and I have yet to see any childish, catty behaviour. For a long time I was pretty much just using our computer for e-mail and an occasional search, now I find myself looking forward to getting on here just to visit Makeuptalk, so thank you for making this such a great site.
 
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Awwwwwww Harleymommy,

I almost got all choked up reading your post.
We are very happy to have you here on MakeupTalk. The warmer friendlier approach is what we wanted when we first started up MakeupTalk. We are super happy to be able to provide this site for you and others. The investment of time and money that we have put into MakeupTalk is definitely paying off for us in the user's compliments about the site . After all, we like to think our regular users own MakeupTalk. Thanks again for your nice compliments. As MakeupTalk grows, we will continue to listen to compliments and critics so we can sharpen the site even more.

Take care and Happy 4th!









Originally Posted by Harleymom10860

After my hair disaster last May I did quite a bit of looking around for others who may have gone through the mess I went through, I found MUA and this site, after doing quite a bit of looking around on both I decided that Makeuptalk was the place for me, to me ya'll just offer a warmer, friendlier atmosphere and I have yet to see any childish, catty behaviour. For a long time I was pretty much just using our computer for e-mail and an occasional search, now I find myself looking forward to getting on here just to visit Makeuptalk, so thank you for making this such a great site.



 
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Kitty, I loved your post. And LOL @ the end!!! I hope your husband has a good hiding place just in case. Nope, I will not quit being myself. And thank you for the super kind words. I have a little devilish side, but it is not there to hurt. It's there for fun! Wohooo!

Also... this comment that you wrote is SO true and insightful:

"Do you know why this happens? Because any person that desires hatred needs tools to fuel and defend their anger. If you make a comment to diffuse the power of their tool, that person will feel their power is threatened and will come charging back at you with accusations such as "How DARE you make fun of **such and such**!" "

I never thought of it in that way and it's RIGHT ON THE MONEY> it's a great manipulative tool because it places doubt in the mind of the defense!

Thanks big time for your words.

Cali

 
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Halo wrote: "californian- im sarcastic too, but i know when its appropriate, and i never take it to a mean place. im sure you dont either! its possible to be sarcastic yet still really aware of peoples feelings, and it sounds like you are."

Calif writes: I hear ya!

 
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OMG!!! You are too funny! We just came back from the "redneck beach" where all is ablaze with alcohol and festive explosives. I'm setting up my tripod and camera and my poor hubbie is trying to be helpful. The tempermental menstrual artist in me is like "NO! I can DO IT MYSELF!! DIEEEE!!!"


He brings wine just in case I need a sedative... I love him so much.

Originally Posted by Californian Kitty, I loved your post. And LOL @ the end!!! I hope your husband has a good hiding place just in case. Nope, I will not quit being myself. And thank you for the super kind words. I have a little devilish side, but it is not there to hurt. It's there for fun! Wohooo!Also... this comment that you wrote is SO true and insightful:

"Do you know why this happens? Because any person that desires hatred needs tools to fuel and defend their anger. If you make a comment to diffuse the power of their tool, that person will feel their power is threatened and will come charging back at you with accusations such as "How DARE you make fun of **such and such**!" "

I never thought of it in that way and it's RIGHT ON THE MONEY> it's a great manipulative tool because it places doubt in the mind of the defense!

Thanks big time for your words.

Cali

 
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Originally Posted by KittySkyfish OMG!!! You are too funny! We just came back from the "redneck beach" where all is ablaze with alcohol and festive explosives. I'm setting up my tripod and camera and my poor hubbie is trying to be helpful. The tempermental menstrual artist in me is like "NO! I can DO IT MYSELF!! DIEEEE!!!"

He brings wine just in case I need a sedative... I love him so much.

"He brings wine just in case I need a sedative... I love him so much."LOL cute!

He loves you too or else he would never forgive you for that black eye you gave him when he was trying to help you set up the camera. hahah.

I hope you do some making up. Tell him that frozen peas work great for bruising and pain.

hah


 
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The drama at MUA is what drove me to find a place where I could feel at home. When I found MuT, I found my "home." I love it here - it's like Baby Bear said - "Just right."


 

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