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*sigh* problems w/ step dad

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Sorry to have not been around lately, everyone. Life has been hectic, and it's just one thing after another. I'm pissed off at PenDOT (for anyone who doesn't know what that stands for: Pennsylvania Department Of Transportation) because I am having problems with getting an ID card; have been for the past two years but they keep changing their days and hours on me at the local DMV. They typically close early during the week, at 4:15, and my dad doesn't get home till 5 at the earliest so he can't get me out there during the week. So they said to come on a Saturday. I do and they tell me I have to come in on Tuesday or Thursday, or go to a different location. The next closest DMV center is over an hour away. So I figured screw it, I will just wait it out till my dad can take a day off work. But I have to get this done ASAP, because I need photo ID to vote in November. And I won't even go into my problems with my job. I am about *thisclose* to quitting. But I am trying very hard to stick it out till I have something else to do. And, as per subject of this post, I am having problems with my step dad. I have had problems with this man since the day my mom met him. But I try very hard to get along with him for my mom's sake. I put up the site for my mom (anyone who doesn't know, she sells soaps and stuff and recently got a site put up) and she said I could put a link to my personal site and to my sister's. So I did. And then within 5 minutes I was told I had to take my link down because it "encourages devil worship and will be bad for business". (My site is www.geocities.com/babypapaya83 for anyone who wants to see it). Which, alright, I can understand that. But he said some things about my site (and me) that just completely cross the line for me. My step dad had no idea I am a Witch, not as far as I know anyway. But I explained and defended myself and what I believe in. But he still insists that I am evil and a devil worshipper; which I am NOT. I respect that everyone has their own beliefs, apparently my step dad does not respect that. So anyway, now he has decided that I am no longer aloud to have anything to do with my mom; or the soap store. I cannot figure out why my mother would stay with someone so controlling; he makes EVERY decision for her. And she doesn't seem to care. But that's her decision, and none of my business. But it's just really frustrating because I want a mom who is always my mom and always there for me. But what I've got is a mom who can only be my mom when her husband isn't around (which is next to never) and who has to sneak around to talk to me. I haven't seen her since June, at that time it was the first time I had seen her in over a year. She and her husband have been together for 4 (almost 5) years now and since they met I have only seen my mom 10 times. Before she met him, I saw her at LEAST once a month, but usually every weekend. I understand that she wants to have time with him, but he has this theory that once a kid turns 18 they don't need their parents anymore, not even for birthdays and holidays. And she seems to think that now, too but she never thought that before. OK, maybe some kids are like that. But I am not and my mom knows that. I still need my parents, very much. Another thing that doesn't help is that my dad and step dad HATE each other, which makes it even harder for me because it makes me dislike my step dad even more. I don't always get along with my dad, but he is my dad and I love him dearly. Hearing my step dad talk badly about him hurts me but my step dad doesn't seem to care. It's just really getting to me and I don't know what I am supposed to do. At this point I really REALLY just want to give up on my mom and not worry about it anymore. I've been worrying about it for almost 5 years and trying to keep a relationship with her, but it's getting tiring and it's just not working out. It's like the more I try to stay close to her, the further apart we are. I honestly don't even feel like I have a mother anymore, I haven't for a long time. Sorry for the book. But I just really had to get that out. Thanks for letting me vent, everyone. *hugs*

 
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Dammit! I hate this sort of stuff. Especially since I am a DAD etc. This is horseshit. I am feeling bad for you with your stepdad/mom sitch. I would just demad that you talk to your mom and tell her how you feel....and that you love her alot and NEED her. Hope this help





Originally Posted by MysticWolf

Sorry to have not been around lately, everyone. Life has been hectic, and it's just one thing after another. I'm pissed off at PenDOT (for anyone who doesn't know what that stands for: Pennsylvania Department Of Transportation) because I am having problems with getting an ID card; have been for the past two years but they keep changing their days and hours on me at the local DMV. They typically close early during the week, at 4:15, and my dad doesn't get home till 5 at the earliest so he can't get me out there during the week. So they said to come on a Saturday. I do and they tell me I have to come in on Tuesday or Thursday, or go to a different location. The next closest DMV center is over an hour away. So I figured screw it, I will just wait it out till my dad can take a day off work. But I have to get this done ASAP, because I need photo ID to vote in November. And I won't even go into my problems with my job. I am about *thisclose* to quitting. But I am trying very hard to stick it out till I have something else to do. And, as per subject of this post, I am having problems with my step dad. I have had problems with this man since the day my mom met him. But I try very hard to get along with him for my mom's sake. I put up the site for my mom (anyone who doesn't know, she sells soaps and stuff and recently got a site put up) and she said I could put a link to my personal site and to my sister's. So I did. And then within 5 minutes I was told I had to take my link down because it "encourages devil worship and will be bad for business". (My site is www.geocities.com/babypapaya83 for anyone who wants to see it). Which, alright, I can understand that. But he said some things about my site (and me) that just completely cross the line for me. My step dad had no idea I am a Witch, not as far as I know anyway. But I explained and defended myself and what I believe in. But he still insists that I am evil and a devil worshipper; which I am NOT. I respect that everyone has their own beliefs, apparently my step dad does not respect that. So anyway, now he has decided that I am no longer aloud to have anything to do with my mom; or the soap store. I cannot figure out why my mother would stay with someone so controlling; he makes EVERY decision for her. And she doesn't seem to care. But that's her decision, and none of my business. But it's just really frustrating because I want a mom who is always my mom and always there for me. But what I've got is a mom who can only be my mom when her husband isn't around (which is next to never) and who has to sneak around to talk to me. I haven't seen her since June, at that time it was the first time I had seen her in over a year. She and her husband have been together for 4 (almost 5) years now and since they met I have only seen my mom 10 times. Before she met him, I saw her at LEAST once a month, but usually every weekend. I understand that she wants to have time with him, but he has this theory that once a kid turns 18 they don't need their parents anymore, not even for birthdays and holidays. And she seems to think that now, too but she never thought that before. OK, maybe some kids are like that. But I am not and my mom knows that. I still need my parents, very much. Another thing that doesn't help is that my dad and step dad HATE each other, which makes it even harder for me because it makes me dislike my step dad even more. I don't always get along with my dad, but he is my dad and I love him dearly. Hearing my step dad talk badly about him hurts me but my step dad doesn't seem to care. It's just really getting to me and I don't know what I am supposed to do. At this point I really REALLY just want to give up on my mom and not worry about it anymore. I've been worrying about it for almost 5 years and trying to keep a relationship with her, but it's getting tiring and it's just not working out. It's like the more I try to stay close to her, the further apart we are. I honestly don't even feel like I have a mother anymore, I haven't for a long time. Sorry for the book. But I just really had to get that out. Thanks for letting me vent, everyone. *hugs*



 
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I am sending you a huge hug from across the water (England) XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XX I am not sure how old you are but it dont really matter, what matters is that you have real issues and you need some support. What you have to look at here is that you cant choose who your parents take as a new husband and its perfectly understandable that you are upset about this man not accepting how you wish to live your life and also the fact that he dont get on with your dad. This man sounds like the type i would avoid but you have no choice. Firstly, accept that whatever he thinks about you is up to him. If he is narrow minded and anal about people exploring witchcraft etc then its his problem and not yours. If he doesnt like your dad, its not your problem its his. He sounds like a total pain in the arse to me but you cant change him but you can change the way you DEAL with him. Firstly, stand up to him in an adult way and explain that your dad is your dad and that you have every right to develop a personality for yourself and that you do not need his approval. If he refuses to accept this then so be it, its his problem. EVERYONE no matter what age they are need the support of their parents and the worst thing a parent can do is to turn their back on their child and side with a new partner. Its hard on the parent and hard on everyone but things MUST be handled in an open and communicative environment or bad feelings will fester and get worse and eventually explode where all concerned will be hurt. I suspect that your mom wishes that she could be there for you but that this man is a control freak. I dont say this lightly as i have met a few in my 39 years and they have a way of worming themselves in extended families and causing terrible hurt which is mostly down to them being insecure people and jealous of any life that their new partner had before they met. Your mother needs to explain and communicate this to this man. At the end of the day, you have your life to lead and so get on with it. As long as you steer clear of black magic and devil worship then do what is right for you. I wish you well and pm me if you need any more help. I am a step mom and have had to go through lots of shit like this in the past. Good luck Donna xxxx

 

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